Becoming Grandma

As soon as I found out I was going to be a grandma, all I heard from friends who had already gotten this promotion was that you can't describe what it's like.  I didn't completely understand until that day in early October when I held my grandson, Weston, for the first time.  I never wanted to leave him, when I was away from him I wanted to know everything he'd done since the last time I saw him.  I now knew what all those grandparent friends were talking about.  I loved this little guy before he was ever born, but I had no idea how much I would love him after I actually met him.

His entry into the world wasn't easy.  His mom had a very long labor.  Weston was just like his dad, apparently, and was in no rush to come out.  When we got to the hospital we couldn't find anybody.  Finally, my son texted me that Weston was in the NICU and that's why he hadn't gotten back to me.  He'd been running between his wife & baby trying to make sure both of them were ok.  We didn't get to see Weston that afternoon.  His blood sugar was low and they were trying to get it stabilized.  We went back that night and I finally got to hold him.  He was so tiny!  I hadn't held a baby in a very long time.  His latest blood work showed his blood sugar still wasn't right and they had to take him back to the NICU, so our first meeting was cut way too short.  I cried as my husband and I left the hospital that night.  Finally, both baby & mama were feeling better and they got to go home.

A couple of days later I got to spend real time with my new grandson & hold him as long as I wanted, except for sharing him with Grandpa Steve.  I couldn't stop looking at him.  I didn't think I could possibly love him any more than I did at that exact moment.  Silly, rookie Grandma.  Weston is 4 as I start this blog and he is the most amazing little boy.  He and I have a bond that is crazy, incredible, silly, special...sometimes it's like we have a secret clubhouse built around us and we're the only ones with the key.

I wish I would have started this blog when Weston was born.  At the encouragement of one of my best friends & co-worker, who I share Weston/Grandma Diane stories with at lunch until we are laughing so hard at our crazy adventures, I decided there's no time like the present to get started.

Our First Afternoon - 10/19/15

We are lucky to live fairly close to our son, daughter-in-law and grandson.  Only about 15 minutes away.  We got to see Weston once or twice a week right after he was born, but then a very special day happened.  In mid-October Weston and grandma got to spend the afternoon together.

Weston was asleep most of the afternoon, or that's what he led me to believe.  I sat in the chair with an ankle crossed over the top of my knee, Weston cradled in my lap.  I decided it was as good a time as any to introduce him to classic rock.  I picked up my phone and went to my music.  We listened to Journey, Aerosmith, The Eagles, Van Halen, Boston.  Weston laid with his face resting on his arm and his arm against my leg.  He looked so peaceful, but was he really sleeping?  I kind of think he was awake with his eyes shut and taking it all in.  He was just absorbing that rock music.  My son works from home and came downstairs to check on us occasionally.  He kind of grinned at Grandma Diane playing rock music instead of lullabyes for his little boy, but I'm pretty sure it didn't surprise him.

After a while I decided we needed to check out apps for babies.  We found some alphabet apps and Wheels on the Bus.  We spent the whole afternoon just talking...well, I was holding up most of the conversation...and listening to music.

I will never forget that day.  It was what I wanted to do everyday of my life...spend it looking at that beautiful little face and teaching him stuff.  I wanted to share stories with him about my life, I wanted him to hear stories about his daddy growing up.  We came from a mid-sized town in Iowa surrounded by farming communities.  His life here in a big city in Arizona is going to be so different from that.  He needs to know the history.  He needs to know about snow and falling leaves.  He needs to know about Murphy, his dad's first dog, who did tricks just by us using hand signals.  He needs to know how his daddy's grandpa had a garden and grew cherry tomatoes and how daddy's grandma taught him to count by picking those cherry tomatoes and counting them as they put them in a bag.  He needs to know that every night we'd come home from work and at 6:00 we'd turn on MTV because his daddy insisted on watching Michael Jackson's Thriller video and they played it every night at that time.  There's so much information he's going to need.  In the time since our first afternoon together I've told him stories about where we used to live and about his daddy growing up.  Sometimes he asks questions and then seems to quietly process the information.  Other times I get a skeptical look like seriously Grandma.  You walked both ways uphill!!

The first of so many special days to come.

Jumping Ahead

Since I waited so long to start writing I'm going to jump ahead a bit and then go back and fill in the past 3 years as I have time.  A prequel if you will.  If Star Wars can do it, so can I.

March of 2019 Weston was confirmed to be on the spectrum.  His parents had suspected for a while.  I can't say I noticed, but then again what did I know about autism.  When I was a teenager and my mom taught in the summer Child Development program I remember very well when she had an autistic  boy in her class.  The age group she worked with was 4-5 year olds getting ready to start kindergarten.  This boy was 7 and they had tried to start him in classes for a while, but it never worked out.  There weren't special education programs like we've seen since that time.  My mom agreed to take him into her class and see what she could do.  Long story short that little boy grew up & sent my mom a thank you letter when he graduated from high school at the top of his class and again when he graduated from college. After Weston's diagnosis I started researching and found myself saying, "that's him" a lot as I read and learned.  We are very blessed that Weston is verbal-extremely verbal-scary smart & thanks to the Applied Behavior Analysis program that he attends 3 days a week he has improved his social game & expanded his interests & is doing speech therapy.  We'll forever be grateful to his ABA team.  They are amazing!

Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends

One of Weston's favorite things in the whole world is anything to do with trains, especially Thomas the Train.  He's got a train room and we've spent many an hour in there with at least 10 trains going around the track with Grandma Diane getting them unstuck from tunnels and back on the tracks when they derail.  He's got Thomas the Train shirts, towels, ball pits, books.  He is truly one of Thomas' biggest fans.  There are several parks & malls in our area offering train rides.  One of Weston's favorite places to go is the McCormick Stillman Train Park in Scottsdale.  I think it's almost a weekly trip.  When he started going there he didn't ride the train, but just watched and waved at the people who were riding.  Being on the spectrum there were a lot of sensory issues to get past before he was going to get on that train, let alone go through tunnels.  As time went on he got brave and with reassuring words from his parents as they rode he got more & more used to the train.  Grandma & Grandpas, aunts, uncles and his cousin have joined in the fun on more than one occasion.  McCormick Stillman decorates at Christmas time and it was truly a fun, beautiful night to get to join Weston on the train ride.

It's funny how much a grandson can teach you.  I didn't have any interest in trains before they became such a big part of Weston's life.  We've watched a lot of train videos together, both real trains and model trains.  He does a whole running commentary while watching the videos.  It cracks me up as he describes the track being built and which train just appeared on the screen. I've read a lot of Thomas the Train books, too.  The hardest words I've ever had to read are the Mayor of Sodor's name, "Sir Topham Hatt".  It doesn't look that tough, but when you're reading really, really fast because the 3 year old you're reading to has the book memorized and is turning pages before you're finished your tongue will tie into a knot on that name.  Here we are with Weston sitting on his slide while we read at least a dozen books.  He'd slide down the slide to get a new book and then back up he would go to his perch.  He gets read to a lot.  My mom, the teacher, would be proud of us and I'm sure she is looking down at us with an approving smile on her face.

Reading on the slide - 04/13/19

Water Fascination

Something that I noticed Weston likes to do and can spend an hour playing with is water in the sink.  We fill the sink, let the water out, run more water, repeat, repeat, repeat.  Balls from his ball pit get put in the sink and he laughs and asks me to do it again when I get one under the water stream and it spins. At our house he has a stool to stand on so he an play in the kitchen sink.  He's fascinated by soap bubbles going down the drain and coming up the other side.  It got me thinking, I wonder if I could build something that would combine water & the balls from the ball pit and maybe some funnels or something to pour the water in.  I googled "wall with funnels to pour water for kids" or some totally random thing close to that.  A water wall popped up on Amazon.  Not really what I wanted.  The next thing I saw was Pinterest, my go to/how to site.  There is such a thing as a water wall.  Some people didn't even put them on walls.  They built them on fences and gates...with packing tape.  I made a plan of what I wanted and what I was going to attach it to.  The finished product consisted of a piece of that heavy plastic lattice that you can get at Lowe's or Home Depot.  I went to the plumbing department at Home Depot and got some pvc pieces.  One pipe is big enough to send balls through.  The rest consisted of funnels, heavy duty clear plastic tubing and the other pvc pieces  I got one with a double spigot, one that looks like a kitchen faucet.  I found a funnel that is used in the automotive world that has a flexible tube for the bottom part and it can be shortened, lengthened or moved side to side.  It makes a narrow stream that we use to get the balls to spin under the force of the water.  Some of the funnels drain into another funnel below.  I laid it all out and Grandpa Steve did the cutting and pop riveting.  We bought pool noodles and cut them to fit the sides and made slits so we could slide them over the lattice.  After the wall was done we bought a small inflatable pool to set it in and be our water source.  I found plastic emoji balls on Amazon that we put in the pool and dump down the shoot and try to catch them in red solo cups.  We have some plastic hoops that we use to play ring toss on the large pvc chute.  Weston loves it so much and has even used it inside this winter, minus the water.  It's fun just to dump solo cups full of balls down the chute and try to catch them.  He didn't used to be real thrilled with getting his face wet or getting splashed.  He doesn't seem to mind any more.  Next summer I'm thinking a bigger pool that he can get in with the water wall.

7/2/2022  The Continuing saga of the water wall.  3 years later & we're still playing with that water wall.  It's taken on different forms of play.  We've used it inside when it's too hot outside & we throw Super Mario figures through the chute.  We use the play pit balls or wiffle balls to toss at the funnels.  I try to fill them all up and Weston unfills just as fast.  Our most recent use for the water wall is to throw water balloons at it.  We try to hit the funnels & hopefully the balloons break.  It's also fun to remove the rubberbands from the balloons & put them in the funnels.  As the balloon empties it comes flying out, reaching some pretty good distances.  

"Say Cheese, Gecko!"

February in Arizona is a wonderful place to be.  It's cool, but sunny & by afternoon it's perfect weather for gecko hunting.  They like the block walls out here and especially when the sun is warming them up.  Weston and I spent an afternoon in his backyard recently trying to keep up with the neighborhood geckos.  They're very fast little creatures and look like they were made out of the same material as the block walls and they can fit through any tiny gap in the wall, so finding them and keeping an eye on them isn't always easy.  Grandma is getting pretty good at taking their picture, though.  Weston likes to see the pictures because we can zoom in and see the gecko's eyes and toes up close.  While I'm taking their pictures he's beside me telling them, "Say Cheese, Gecko!"  He's also named them.  There is a Mico - named after my neighbor's cat that Weston is obsessed with.  He also has named 2 of them Mario and Luigi. There is a hummingbird that visits his backyard, also.  A day with critters in your backyard is a good day.

02/16/20 - "Knock Knock, Gecko.  Are you in there?"

11/13/21  Water Balloons

Weston spent the afternoon here like he does every Saturday.  We had been in the backyard throwing water balloons, something we do every time he's here unless it's summer & too hot & grandma might melt & the balloons might pop.   

Grandpa was on clean up duty with the ShopVac.  

Here's the conversation from a few minutes ago. Weston is watching Steve like a hawk & pointing out where the balloon remnants are.

Weston came in the house.

Tiffany, "How's it look out there?"

Weston, being super serious about his answer, "Not good at all."

We're all just dying & sent him back out to help some more.

Steve comes in the house, "I'm being supervised by a 6 year old."

Me, not out loud, "You're about to be fired by a 6 year old."

There's a reason grandma doesn't volunteer to do the clean up.

Bad Grandma didn't put a date on these pictures, but since he's wearing long pants,

but it's warm enough to be playing with water balloons I would say Feb. or March 2021

6/29/22

So we're spending lots of time together this summer. Besides our Saturday afternoons after swim lessons, I'm watching Weston every Monday & Wednesday while school is out for the summer. He goes to Grandma Rhea's on Tuesday & to what he calls "school camp" on Thursday & Friday. They have a program at his school that they can attend & keep a little "school state of mind" during their time off. Also, mommy & daddy bought him a giant 300+ page book for 1st grade. It's got sections of writing, math, science, social studies, maps & more. We do 10 pages a day, plus draw at least one picture and write a story about it every day. Grandma has learned a lot. Nouns aren't nouns any more & Verbs aren't verbs. They are naming words & action words. I was scared that I might not be doing math with him the new way. Luckily, that doesn't kick in until about 4th grade? We use markers to count and do addition & subtraction. They are adding and subtracting some big numbers for little kids. One day we did this race track page. Definitely wasn't thought up by a teacher. Some of the problems were upside down, which means the kid has to write the answer that way? We wrote ours right side up, because somedays that is a challenge in itself. Upside down is ridiculous.

Today we did planets. It started out with a page about Mars. I asked him if he knew what or where Mars was. He knew it was a planet & it was red. I taught him "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizza pies". Funny how I can't remember what I did yesterday, but I still remember that Space presentation they brought to us when I was probably Weston's age. If I know nothing else I know how to name the planets in order from the sun. I did have to explain to him how Pluto is no longer a planet, but was demoted to a dwarf planet. Andy, who also remembers the planet thing, discussed how we needed to change Nine to Noodles or something. Just doesn't have the same ring to it as pizza pies. Anyway, I told Weston I learned that little jingle when I was in school "3000 years ago". He giggled. I asked him if he believed I was in school 3000 years ago. His answer, "Yes." I'm doing pretty darn good for my age, apparently.

5/2022 - Kindergarten Certificate. You did it!

5/2022 - Weston & Kindergarten Teacher Ms. Abel

7/2022 - One of our many conversations this summer.   

I believe this one was about a train park adventure & 

probably which engines were running that day.  

7/11/22

The math lesson today involved measuring things. I had a 6" ruler available & that worked fine for measuring things in the book. Next we were asked to measure in centimeters. I sent Weston to find Grandpa, because I was sure he would have a 12" ruler with one side in centimeters. Sure enough, Weston came back with just what we needed. After we finished that page I got out a tape measure, just because. I didn't figure he'd be that impressed with it. I was wrong. Weston measured everything in the house. He measured from floor to the top of the doorways "here Grandma, hold this end". He measured closet doors, he measured furniture, he measured from the slider to the island to see how long the tape measure was. He measured the beagles, his water bottle, the Slithers, his owl & even the 6" ruler. Sometimes the best lessons don't come from a work book.

7/25/22

Today was Weston's last day of summer break & he will start 1st grade tomorrow. We only spent about 5 1/2 hours together, because he got to go to the train park in Scottsdale before he came over. We didn't have to do any school work today. I planned a blind bag opening for him with Paw Patrol mash'ems, PacMan mash'ems & Sugar the Golden Retriever. He was so excited. We played with cars we hadn't played with in a couple of years. They are the cars you pull back & then they go,. 3 of them are Andy's from when he was a little boy. We dumped all the ducks & Mario toys in the sink & played with them in water, which we also haven't done in ages. They all probably needed a bath, because we've been using them outside with the water wall & they get a little dirty when they fly into the yard. Our bottle of foaming hand soap was almost empty, because it's fun to make hairdos on the ducks using the soap. Weston says, "I know where I can get you another one." Off he goes to the spare bathroom, opens the door & comes back with a new bottle. I knew he had rearranged the soap bottles in the cabinet during other visits to our house, so I knew he knew exactly where they were. He pretty much knows where everything is in our house. I feel like that will come in handy some day.

(If you want to know what blind bags are go to youtube.com & search Shannon & Paul. It will tell you everything you want to know. There are many others out there, but they are our fav. We also like CookieSwirlC, but just the one with Olaf loading hatchimals in a trailer being pulled by a Jeep being driven by Elsa. I laugh every time I watch it.)

8/3/22

My long time (notice I did not say old) friend LuAnn came to visit this week. This is the first time she's been here since the Covid reared it's ugly head. Weston didn't remember who she was. He was a little concerned about coming over with somebody who is a stranger to him in the house. I was so impressed with the way he handled it. He usually comes in the house and heads through the house to "his room". Today he kind of hung behind dad. It didn't take long, though, and he warmed right up to her. He answered the questions she asked about how old he was and school. After supper we played the game of water balloons that we had promised him. He asked, "Can she come out to play?" We replied, "Who? LuAnn?" He said yes. We told him to go ask her to come out. We told him to say "Aunt LuLu come out and play balloons." His answer, "That's not her name." He's such a no nonsense kid. I think he's at least 21. After verifying with me that her name is LuAnn, he opens the slider and says, "LuAnn, come out and play, please." He had a great time with the water balloons and somehow he and Grandma managed to get pretty wet. I think his father/my son might have been throwing them at us. When we were finished the adults were standing around talking. Weston went in the house, announced to Grandpa that he was done playing water balloons, stripped down to his underwear and threw his wet clothes in the dryer and started it. It's what he does. Next thing we know he's standing at the slider in his Mario underwear waving at us. Andy asked, does he do that himself? I can see the wheels turning that maybe he's got a new laundry assistant. I think it only works after water ballooning.

When they got ready to head home and it was time to give hugs he went right over to her first and gave her a hug. I was so proud of him, I can't even tell you. These are things that are hard for our little autistic guy. He likes things to stay the same and not have something new thrown into his routine at Grandma & Grandpa's. I'm pretty sure when he comes over on Saturday he will be looking for her.

Update: He did ask, "Where's LuAnn?" Me, "She had to go back home to Iowa this morning."

Him, "Why?" Me, "Because that's where she lives."

While he was here she texted to let me know she was home. I told her Weston was there. She texted back "Hi Weston". I showed him the text. He smiled & giggled & went back to playing.

09/2/22 My Future on the Phone

I see in my future many hours on the phone with Weston. I imagine he'll call me after school to tell me about his day or about the girl he has a crush on. He doesn't even own a phone yet, but he gets in the mood to call Grandma Diane. He's done this for a few years already. The difference is now he knows how to use the cell phone & doesn't accidentally hang up 3 times during the conversation. Tonight was one of those times he was in the mood to call me. He had to show me the 2 new books he got at the book fair. Also, he took me into the play room to show me the train track he set up. He showed me all the trains. Had to lay the phone down to do that. Next thing I knew he didn't seem to still be in the room, but I was laying there on the floor looking at the ceiling. I said, "Weston, did you leave me in here?" I hear Andy in the background, "Weston, go get Grandma out of the playroom." I really think I should invest in one of those robot things with an IPad attached, so I can just follow him around when he's in the mood to talk to me. I watch the show "Celebrity Face Off". The last challenge on the show is to run through the celebs houses hunting for a specific item. Weston running through the house with the phone reminded me exactly of that show. The kid makes me laugh.

1/28/23

Wednesday while I was watching Weston after school we did some Ebay shopping. Incentive to do everything he's supposed to do and listen to his parents because he thinks he's 14. He was excited, because he knew some of the stuff should be coming today. He knows he get 1 thing if he's been good & he didn't ask to open more than 1. We was concerned about when the mailman would be here. He said, "Lt's take the big cars out and paly in the driveway." I knew he wanted to keep an eye out for the mail truck, so we got the Rubbermaid thing of cars and went outside. The mailman pulled up when we were walking out the door. I told him we have to play for a while until he gets done. We can't go bug him. The second the mail truck started we got the mail box key and went to gather his packages. He opened a Slither and was thrilled to pieces because it wasn't one he had. Grandma found a series he doesn't have any of. Yay! We played outside a while longer and then we decided wed should do water balloons. We got out the basketball hoop to throw balloons through & detoured through a game of horse before we got around to the balloons. Next was snack time. The last 2 hours we spent playing a game we'll call "Disneywood". We had all of the Mashe'ems & Slithers that I've got, because he gives me the duplicates, line up around the box I keep them in. The Tsum Tsums were riding in round boats, the lids from the little containers the Mash'ems came in. All these words are real, btw. I wish I would have come up with this blind bag craze. So anyway, my phone is in the box playing the Small World song & the boats of Tsum Tsums are circling the box surrounded by all the other creatures who are singing the song. There is also a Dollywood roller coaster in our theme park. He's got the intro down verbatim, "Howdy pardnes, welcome to the greatest ride in the world..." he goes on to tell the passengers to keep their arms and legs inside the ride & keep an eye on their children. Pick up trucks are used as the roller coasters & pirates & a few of the left over Mash'ems who aren't performing at the other ride go on the roller coaster. There's a ticket booth & he thanks each rider for their ticket. Occasionally the ride breaks down & Marvel's Black Panther, who obviously took an auto shop class, comes to change tires & look under the hood. Sometimes one of the vehicles catches on fire & rolls over. Marshall from Paw Patrol has to run from It's a Small World to the top of the roller coaster to put out the fire and then Spidey casts a web to bring the vehicle upright. Andy & Tiffany showed up to pick him up & heard the Small World song playing. I welcomed them to Disneywood and asked if they had a ticket. They said it sounded like an expensive place and maybe they should come back when the park closes for the night to pick up the proprietor. We went on to demonstrate exactly how our park works including the fire rescue. Andy said he was requesting a refund. :-)